Record Breaking Winter: Polar Vortex Stats


Record Breaking Winter: Polar Vortex Stats

If the polar vortex were in a March madness basketball game, it would earn you your retirement fund from betting on her. No matter how brutal we feel the Polar V has already been, she slaps you right in the ski-mask covered face with another snow, ice or sleet storm.  She’s been bad, we are all aware, but just how does this winter compare to those we grew up with? Let’s walk through the stats…

Record Breaking Winter

Detroit is less than 10 inches away from breaking a 100+ year record. Yeah you read that right- over 100 years (1880/134 years, to be exact). It has been since the 18-freaking-hundreds that the city buried itself this far in snow. The only reprieve? Imagine dealing with 90 plus inches of snow in the 1880’s- sans electricity and plows trolling the streets every hour. Shoveling your car out to go to work does not sound so bad when you picture ice-covered Ford Quadricycles built with bike wheels and open carriages—consider thawing out your horse to get to work on time.

Record Breaking Winter

New York City had more snow fall than Anchorage, Alaska. It’s fun to watch shows on how hard it must be to live in Alaska and bear the cold, snow and darkness surrounding our mystical state to the northwest… however, maybe New York is the new frozen tundra. I would much rather watch snowflakes fall in Anchorage, as a moose walks majestically across the road than try to hale a cabbie in NYC in four feet of snow. I think we have a new definition for extreme survival skills and Sarah Jessica Parker might be the lead in this reality show.

Record Breaking Winter

Atlanta decided to have its first camp out in the snow… on the highway… Now I live in North Carolina and I feel for my sisters in GA, but my empathy can only go so far. Camping out in the 7-11? Kids stuck at school overnight? You probably should have planned a wee bit better for handling 3 inches of snow, my darlings. Polar Vortex-1, Atlanta-0. The record for sleeping next to strangers in the gas station= priceless. Next time remember the hand sanitizer.

Record Breaking WinterRecord Breaking Winter

Power outages, parked planes and store closings- oh my! I was out of power for one day and had a mini-break down. I can only imagine how the rest of the Midwest and East coast dealt with the several outages that lasted days, over this winter season. On top of outages, planes were grounded for days on end, repeatedly, costing airlines millions in lost travel revenue. Stores closed, schools closed and we had multiple days of politicians pleading with us to just stay inside already. Looks like Mother Nature decided to bring on her own mini recession this year… either that or karma really came back to benefit HVAC workers in gigantor overtime checks.

(courtesy of the Washington post)

Record Breaking Winter

Meanwhile, AZ and CA folks are hanging out in swimsuits in the sand. WTF? February brought record breaking heat for Phoenix (former record set in 1977). 86 degrees procured people out in swimsuits at the local colleges, ready to take in vitamin D for the rest of us. Don’t be too jealous of the southwest just yet. Meanwhile, 95% of California remains in a drought (see: USA Today). The drought this year has been so bad they are considering trucking their salmon to the ocean. Trucking fish to water to save them from imminent death, Free Willy style; cue Michael Jackson’s memorable song (and raise your arms in a V, you know it).

Record Breaking Winter

I would love to say those stats are closed but the record breaking winter this season is not done with us yet, thanks Punky Phil or whatever you want to call that little monster that foretold of 6 million more weeks of wicked weather. I may be overestimating a bit, but I know we are all a tad agitated over our Spring-like weather last week, which catapulted into freezing temps and then bounced back again. What was that phrase we learned in grade school? March comes in like a lion and out like a really angry, frigid lioness? Something like that.


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