Need a Fake Boyfriend for the Holidays?


Need a Fake Boyfriend for the Holidays?

How to have an entire fake relationship start and end before New Year!

You can put it on your list again this year, but sadly, Santa does not deliver significant others in time for the holiday get-togethers. While you scope through photos of other happy couples, do you feel saddened that your instagrams are solely selfies and not couples? Do you feel like conversation would be much easier ‘round the Christmas dinner table if you were able to talk about your boyfriend and be applauded for not being one step closer to spinster-hood? I think we have a solution.

Recently CNN posted a story about a lonely soul in Japan (Keisuke Jinushi) who was sick of measuring up to couples and falling short. He invented a fake girlfriend through photos and shows you how to do it!

Well my friends, I thought I would take his advice one step further to see if I could create an entire relationship that my social media friends could fawn over. Bonus- my relationship ends by the last photo (spoiler alert!) but who does not want to console me when my jerk boyfriend cheated on me?

How to have an entire relationship in photos:

Chocolate pie on thanksgiving

First date with Trey. Can’t believe I ordered the key lime pie!

Your first photo should symbolize the start to your relationship. I call this one “Dishes for two” and I feel it is painfully obvious you are not going to eat two plates of food alone! In reality, heck yes you are eating two different slices of pie and having two drinks- they make yoga pants for a reason!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rhode Island Beaches

“There’s Trey again, always dodging the camera!”

Next, you really want to introduce the sensitive side of your boyfriend. I call this one, “Random guy in background” and it is helpful for alluding to your boyfriend’s shyness. You may want to consider a caption similar to, “There’s Trey again, always dodging the camera! If only he could know how gorgeous he really is on the inside and out!” Comments like this are swoon-worthy and stop people from asking the obvious, “Why don’t you have any pictures of him posted?” In reality, the random guy could be anyone. Pick a good looking stranger and start awkwardly standing around- Tada!

 

 

 

 

 

 

winter flowers with vase

sweetest boyfriend ever!

 

Flowers! This photo opportunity is another heart-tugger. He sent you flowers and you want to show it off! In reality, you might have taken this picture at the grocery store ($0 cost), from flowers you bought yourself or (as in my case) photos of lovely flowers your friend bought you to say thank you! No, thank YOU, fake boyfriend!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, this is where the relationship takes a sudden dip. I call this turn, “He leaves his stuff everywhere” and every wife/long-term girlfriend can attest to this actually being a real issue however, they have never thought of photographing it! In this scenario, your fake boyfriend is starting to annoy you by leaving his stuff everywhere. In reality, Goodwill sells some nice cheap men’s things and it is worth its weight in gold!

crumpled clothes

ARRGGH! I wish Trey’s mother taught him to clean up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just like any good Hallmark movie, after a valley there comes a peak! In this sneaky little photo, you seem to have “Found a ring!” but he has not proposed-yet!  You will want to beg your media socialites not to tell him you know, but you know they might just tell each other how lucky you are! In reality, Goodwill is good for more than just clothes, my friends.

Ring on red paper

OH-EM-GEE! Don’t tell Trey I saw this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaaaand then it all falls apart. In order to end your fake romance, your fake boyfriend fake cheats on you. Yeah I know that was hard to follow, but so will your ramblings with this photo, entitled, “Oh no he didn’t!” Here you are alluding to him cheating, which may be a photo of a glass with lipstick, a phone number crumbled up or even just a selfie sad face- you be the artist. Either way, he is a jerk and no one blames you for ditching him!

Crying in the rain

I can’t believe Trey made out with Kaitlyn!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The concluding photo is kind of a piece de resistance. It also makes me laugh immeasurably and I hope you like this kicker as much as I do. I call it, “Sad quote.” In the sad quote photo you simply take a photo of absolutely anything that has a pair and write something like, “No regrets” or “Better to have lived and loved than never to have loved at all…” or my favorite for this photo, “The Winter of my solace is upon me. No time for sandals… just sadness.”   The money is really in the “…”

brown and white sandals

The Winter of my solace is upon me. No time for sandals… just sadness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There you have it! You have just met, dated, nearly married and broken up with your fake boyfriend! Tales at the dinner table? Plenty. Relatives asking you if you were “still single?” Not this year, Aunt Beth.

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