“It’s Not Me, It’s YOU!”

It’s so wild how single ladies yearn to have boyfriends (some, not all). Yet, before their first real long term relationship happens, they make the mistake of not looking at their current relationships (with parents and friends), and evaluating their personalities. There are women and men alike, that refuse to take blame for anything-even if they are 100% responsible! You know the type, and when you get in an argument or debate with these blameless souls, you feel like putting your own head through a wall.

breaking up

“It’s not me, it’s you!” feels like nails going down a chalkboard. Maybe you even know someone who makes YOU their fall guy. For example: Your boyfriend gets a parking ticket, complains about it, and somehow…it is your fault. You weren’t even in the car, but it is your fault!

Hmm. Mmm. You know what I’m saying! It’s the blame game. After time, it can be quite ridiculous.

The blame game started with Adam and Eve. Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the devil. Narcissistic people are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions and behaviors. They have to blame others and pit people against others and cause tension so it takes attention away from their flaws and faults. In the narcissistic mind, the world is wrong.

The best way to deal with these types?

Don’t deal with them. Sometimes we have to burn bridges to keep our sanity. If you have a persistant “blamer in your life that will not budge and it affects your mental well being, there is a good chance they will never change.

Work it out. Have a face to face, heart to heart conversation with the blamer. They may or may not listen to you, but if they care about your relationship-they may stop and take a hard look at their behavior. They may blame you for having to do so, but miracles do happen.

Accept it. I know that sounds insane, but the people that we love have flaws. There is no perfect person. If the blamer is set their ways and you recognize they have an issue, you may just have to accept it. If the blaming becomes abusive, do NOT accept it; But if their blame game only happens once in a while, roll your eyes and deal

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