The Worst Movie Ever Made—”Plan Nine from Outer Space”

Advertisement for Plan Nine From Outer SpaceHands down, Plan Nine from Outer Space is both the worst movie that I have ever seen and the worst movie ever made, complete with a dead actor played by a man a foot taller than him and holding a cape in front of his face, the same scene of a man walking out of a forest and brandishing a cape multiple times throughout the film, supposedly sequential shots in which scenes of a cemetery at night are juxtaposed with scenes of a police car racing to the cemetery during the day, cardboard gravestones that fall over when kicked gently, a flying saucer guided by a very visible string, and stunningly-constructed dialogue including such gems as:  “future events such as these will affect you in the future” and “But one thing’s sure—Inspector Clay’s dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.”  The plot is nonsensical, the acting atrocious and the budget practically nonexistent.  Some movies are so bad that they’re hilarious; this movie, sadly, has passed so far beyond this point that it’s simply bad.  Upon my first viewing of the film, I intentionally fell asleep for half-an-hour and, when I woke up, hadn’t missed a single thing.

The plot of this movie involves an alien race’s attempt to warn humanity that they about to build a bomb that will ultimately destroy the universe.  The aliens have tried, and failed, eight times before.  This time, the aliens (who look exactly like humans in shiny suits, by the way) decide that they will resuscitate the dead and use them in order to warn humanity.  It should be noted thatThe Aliens from Plan Nine From Outer Space the aliens resuscitate all of two dead people in a random small town located in southern California because, clearly, in order to alert the world’s leaders, you need to attack America’s small towns, preferably those that are located as far away from Washington, D.C. as possible.

In short, don’t watch this film unless you are having trouble falling asleep, have masochistic tendencies, or don’t care that you will almost assuredly want those seventy-nine minutes of your life back, even if you had nothing better to do than pick your nose or take a nap.


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