Excuse me!?! Did This Just Happen?

And here’s the scene…

romantic dinner date image

You’re a speed dater. You move around the Dating World. You are meeting, weeding and trying to find the perfect guy since your loser whatshisface ex-boyfriend decided to dump you for the next, young thing. “She’s not at all better.” You reminded yourself that every evening as you cried to the mirror, eating a carton of Ice Cream, while watching all those sad sappy movies. Alone. Yes, she’s not better at all. It’s time to move on and find someone new. Which, may I add, how come you can date a guy for years, YEARS, and they dump you and are in the arms of a “Amber” or “Lauren” within like 5 minutes. How come us Women get so physically, mentally, emotionally attached and date a guy for years, get dumped, and become either suicidal or keep ourselves locked up for weeks? When will it be easy for us girls, huh? You men have it so easy. Once we have decided it’s time to move on… It’s on. So back to my scene.

Your at a beautiful five star restaurant. Your with a man who isn’t as good looking at your ex, buthe’ll do. You order a few glasses of Wine; of course ordering not enough to look sloppy, but enough to make him look like Ryan Reynolds, and then it happens. Then, your World ends. You are just about to order a plate of Chicken Marsala when she shows up. And this b—- you are not expecting. What do you do when your period shows up in the middle of dinner and you weren’t prepared?! Ladies, this is a difficult and delicate task one must always be prepared for, or, at least know how to work your way around it.

As soon as it happens; the Doomsday, you panic. Mother Nature is so mean and cruel. Your palms race. Mr Date Boy is over there talking about his life; blah blah blah… He slowly fades into the background. You’re thinking, “great, I’m resorting to either the bathroom supplies (which are horrible,) or I’m stuck leaving this date.” But, this was a big night. You were expecting to have sex for the first time in weeks. What can you do? You think to yourself, “hmmm, possibly sex in the shower? Oh no, then my make up is ruined, and do I really want to with him?” Judging by the hair curls coming from the top of this shirt you are on a date with a Werewolf or possibly Robin Williams. You panic some more. Sweat forms on your brow. You ask him if he’s ready to leave. “But, why?” He responds, “I thought we’ve been having so much fun… Haven’t we? And then it happens. You have realized you need, you want, you have to leave. You call for the check. Then you race. You run through the restaurant thinking god forbid you leaked or a catastrophe may take place. Your speeding; weaving in and out of traffic to race home. Get yourself altogether and just be in the comfort of your four walls. The date was overall O.K. You think to yourself; this is how I go out after being dumped. This is the first date I do after that relationship. Why am I such a loser? Why does this happen to me?

The guy then texts you repeatedly until you tell him, “it wasn’t you, it’s me, I just had an emergency.”

For once, that infamous lie of a statement, was finally the truth…

Ladies: Whenever you think you may be getting near that Time. Please don’t let it take over your Time. Be Prepared today.

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