Unleashed: The True Story of a Recovering Serial Monogamist – Ab Man

The Disappearing and Reappearing Cock


On Election Day of this past year, I was informed by a good guy friend (purely platonic) that an Amsterdam-ian prostitute had it on good authority that the “biggest” nationalities were as follows: Irish, Italian, then Black. I have to say…That explains a lot!!! Also, this would have been good information to know before I started on my Journey. Well… honestly, I don’t know how much a difference it really would have made since I would still want to test the theories out.


Speaking of additional testing…


I was on Facebook (who isn’t) and I start chatting with this guy Ab-man. He’s not local, but he’s not terribly far either… No threatening LDR at risk. Apparently, though I don’t recall (damned sleep meds), I had previously spoken with this physical god about a year ago. I don’t know how exactly the conversation ended up on such a dirty level, but shrug… it happens (leave it to Ambien). Anyhoo, he allegedly broke up with his long-term girlfriend almost a year ago, right around the time we started talking, and we’ve been chat-flirting on and off ever since. But, um, I still don’t really remember who this guy is.


He sent me photographs to try and jog my memory. Now I know what you’re all thinking, and trust me, I’ve thought the same thing. Pictures can be faked. They may be years old. Hell, it may not even be the same person. But – if these photos are real, and if they’re him… um…


How the f*&% have I not spoken to this guy before? Well, in theory, I guess I have, but I don’t remember! And according to his photos –and he sent me several– the man is hot. And his abs are seriously rock hard. Holy crap. He would officially, and easily, pants down, be the most ripped guy I have ever been with, including Hockey Guy. Yes, you heard me. Truly impressive. I mentioned him to Kay and her response cracked me up: “But wouldn’t it be like making love to a cement brick?” Well, there’s only one way to find out!


Ab-man and I chatted more, and before we sexted each other into physical bliss, I found out more about him. He’s an attorney, is only slightly younger than me, an oldest child, and went to Columbia for school. Let me get this straight. Sexy, adorable, RIPPED, and intelligent to boot? They exist? WTF. Really?


I guess the plan is that he is coming into town in a couple weeks. He wants to take me out for dinner and drinks, followed by a smokin’ hot date in his hotel room. He has literally guaranteed me five or six orgasms. Seriously. We’ll see if this all really works out, but…


Tell me again why we haven’t spoken before???? And why don’t I remember??


Amalie Paris


**Update: To date, I have never met Ab-man. He never came into town, finally got in touch with me to apologize weeks later (work excuse), and has since popped up only once on chat with another (failed) promise to come into town to meet up. What a disappointment.


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