Unleashed: The True Story of a Recovering Serial Monogamist – Part III

My Weekend at the Splay-ground


Part III (Monday)

So far my crazy f*&^%blur of a weekend (or lack thereof) was a disenchanting mess, but tonight was an opportunity to save it – my standing weekly date night with my good friend Joe. We had quite the schedule set for the evening: quiet and funny conversation over some delicious thai food for dinner (where we argued about politics and the legal system), appreciating and admiring really nifty old cars at a show, and promptly returning to his house and f*&^%ing on his couch.



Like me, he takes pleasure very sincerely, and takes even greater pride in his listening, relaxing, and cunning lingual abilities. He knows where I carry my stress and addresses it. I can, and will, vouch for his talents – they are well-placed and very well-earned.


Joe enjoys going down on a girl, and fortunately for me, the man knows what he’s doing. He takes the time necessary, applies serious attention, and acclimates himself to the details of a woman’s anatomy. And after that long, exhilarating bit of enjoyment (I do believe we missed the first half of a movie we had attempted to watch), it’s pure, intense, unadulterated f*&^%ing (there went the second half of the movie). There’s sex, and then there’s just a good, hard f*&^%. A woman has needs.


Regarding those needs, while I got great pleasure from his mouth, I haven’t quite gotten the hang of an orgasm from internal stimulation (note to men: I am not alone; you might want to talk to your girl about this, and how you can pleasure her better). This time around, however, I got thisclose to cuming but not quite. BEYOND FRUSTRATING. That’s not to say I’m not enjoying myself… the act of sex is usually quite enjoyable, but what’s a girl to do when she wants some really creamy, sweet, velvety, rich frosting on her sensual cake??


Answer: try a different piece of cake.


Speaking of, even with all this spectacular weekend fun, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity with Hockey Guy, so I called him tonight. We had been playing phone tag for a bit, but DING! Tonight we finally got in touch. I got a little nervous (don’t know where the nerves came from; haven’t felt them since my last trial), but we made plans to have dinner tomorrow night.


Perhaps we’ll have dessert too, and enjoy it FIRST… you know, the whole “life is uncertain” thing. Mmm, he’s so incredibly hot. It’s likely due to his being a professional NHL player and doing exceptionally well in maintaining his very toned, very muscled body. From top to bottom, a definitively hot commodity. Broad shoulders, strong arms, nice chest, tight abs that lead down to a yummy and large…, crazy-ass thighs and legs, calves from heaven… Lungs that permit great aerobic and anaerobic activities…No exceptions. None. G-d bless the sport of hockey. Perhaps I’m a puck bunny, but can you blame me?


I gotta say though, keeping all the men in my life straight is starting to wipe me out physically and mentally. I need to better balance this experiment out. Perhaps an Excel “spread”-sheet (pun intended) would be beneficial to my records/research.


Amalie Paris


**Feel free to continue the conversation with me on twitter @AmalieParis

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